Tuesday, September 21, 2004

"If it's in another country, it doesn't count."

At least that's what my friend/housemate said about it. In Africa, I had a bit of a romantic fling with this guy who was sweet and amazing to talk to about life, love and all those mysteries. He was more honest with me than most people in his situation would have been to someone they'd known for a mere 3 weeks, about his family, his dreams, his tragic flaws, etc. It continued a few precious weeks after returning to Holland, but things just weren't the same. He went away for the summer, I went home, and now it's akward. We run into each other sometimes, and it's like nothing ever happened. I've heard through the grapevine that he is an ass (and "sketchy," as Sarah says) and feel like a romantic fool. (Hey, we did walk the white sand beaches of Zanzibar and see 15+ shooting stars AND 2 meteors in 1 hour! Give me a break!) Anyway, this is my funny/sarcastic poem to this guy... who I heard from a friend said I was a big pain in his ass. We had a real connection, then it disappeared. Is it so wrong to at least try for a friendship? Tell me what you think.

I want you to know how
stupid you are for letting
me slip by. You're missing thousands
of smiles, glances, touches, my
fingers on your skin. And kisses.
How could you pass up
my kisses like you do turkey
sandwiches in the afternoon? What
makes you forget my lips, your
lips, four lips -- tulips all around--
the way we pressed gently and sucked
juices from each other's mouths? How
dare you forget the stars, the same
stars you told me to remember always like
you were romantic or something.
I could have shown you what love
really is.
Don't look at me with excuses.
I've got ears, man.


Blogger KTB said...

is it so wrong to at least try for a friendship? no. clearly if the guy doesn't want to at LEAST be your friend, he's a fool. i think that's my new favorite word: fool. there are just so many of them out there. (why do i feel like i've found an excessive number of them...)

and "if it's in another country it doesn't count"... oh how many times i've joked about kidnapping people and taking them to europe with me for that very reason! ha! ;)

ok, onto the serious stuff. sid, i love your humor filled voice. this poem reminded me of the man in tweed. you come up with these fabulous everyday things and make them more fabulous! for example, i recommend you begin this poem with the line: "How could you pass up my kisses like you do turkey sandwiches in the afternoon?" it's my favorite. simple, yet unexpected. a much stronger opener. it grabs the reader, begs for more.

take out some of the cliche love buzzwords and put in more of that turkey sandwich! i mean, we could get really into it and have your touch spread butter over his skin or something of the like... i don't know, that could turn into a whole different poem and i'm not sure you want to go there. it could work. or you could just come up with more surprising comparisons and scatter them throughout. (i hate when people tell me that. like, if i could come up with more surprising things i would use them. i know. but it's true, that's what your poem needs.)

and you're not a romantic fool sid. at least, no more than the rest of us sappy poets. love you...

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