Mass Confusion
Oak K, I know this is really confusing. Something might be wrong with me but there were lots of fun salvagable ideas in here that i thought would be worthy enough to share.
As Drunk as Always,
You beloved wine drinker
The Hadj
Purchasing the William-Sonoma Kissing Booth
I. Finding Love
What happened
to the old days when falling
in love meant a trip to the soda
fountain or making out
way back in the theatre or even
just pretending we were kissing.
I prefer hanging my ass
on the beats of the DJ
so she can check my
tag and find I am on sale.
II.Clothing
Maybe we could pick out each
others clothes for a date. But
this time I want to wear
the sportcoat from Value Village
with the bright green pants, not
the tight leather fetish costume
she picked out last time.
III. Ameneties
When we pretend to be rich
behind my flat, like where Yves
drove us around in our Bently,
not me driving us in my Honda,
that does not mean sleep
in different beds and talk
infrequently.
IV. Food Items for the Villa
I thought we could light
drugstore fireworks and drink
Champagne from upstate New York
on special for $5.99, and our faces
could glow radiently like a large
paycheck or estate on the lakefront.
Tomorrow though, we'll still
eat bagels rather than
Egg and spinach souffle
with pomagranete torts.
We'll continue drinking
canned and artificially flavored
Henderson's Coffee rather
than enjoying the spectacular
aromas of Dean and Deluca.
VI. Order your Catalogue Today
And when we start kissing,
putting up our walls against
the rest of the world
can we bring everything
in our relationship together,
catalogued for the buying pleasures
of the American publish?
We could sell our impoverished
kinkiness like a blender, or
the beat up car, or the crappy coffee
and hang it all on the walls of a booth
where we'll just sit, kissing,
playing records with our
headphones on, ignoring
the rest of the world
as we bought it from the catalogue,
the one that makes us better
people and holds our
relationship together.
As Drunk as Always,
You beloved wine drinker
The Hadj
Purchasing the William-Sonoma Kissing Booth
I. Finding Love
What happened
to the old days when falling
in love meant a trip to the soda
fountain or making out
way back in the theatre or even
just pretending we were kissing.
I prefer hanging my ass
on the beats of the DJ
so she can check my
tag and find I am on sale.
II.Clothing
Maybe we could pick out each
others clothes for a date. But
this time I want to wear
the sportcoat from Value Village
with the bright green pants, not
the tight leather fetish costume
she picked out last time.
III. Ameneties
When we pretend to be rich
behind my flat, like where Yves
drove us around in our Bently,
not me driving us in my Honda,
that does not mean sleep
in different beds and talk
infrequently.
IV. Food Items for the Villa
I thought we could light
drugstore fireworks and drink
Champagne from upstate New York
on special for $5.99, and our faces
could glow radiently like a large
paycheck or estate on the lakefront.
Tomorrow though, we'll still
eat bagels rather than
Egg and spinach souffle
with pomagranete torts.
We'll continue drinking
canned and artificially flavored
Henderson's Coffee rather
than enjoying the spectacular
aromas of Dean and Deluca.
VI. Order your Catalogue Today
And when we start kissing,
putting up our walls against
the rest of the world
can we bring everything
in our relationship together,
catalogued for the buying pleasures
of the American publish?
We could sell our impoverished
kinkiness like a blender, or
the beat up car, or the crappy coffee
and hang it all on the walls of a booth
where we'll just sit, kissing,
playing records with our
headphones on, ignoring
the rest of the world
as we bought it from the catalogue,
the one that makes us better
people and holds our
relationship together.
posted by Matt at 6:12 PM | Permalink
1 Comments:
hadji, there is some fabulous stuff here. i really really do love it. the title? so great. and the subtitles? equally compelling. i love that each section is totally unrelated and totally related at the same time.
i think the end is the weakest. those last two stanzas could be tighter. i really don't know that i would change the first 4 at all. i think you get a little too... cliche? preachy? the line "putting up our walls" set me off. i want the poem to end on this:
"the beat up car, or the crappy coffee
and hang it all on the walls of a booth
where we'll just sit, kissing,
playing records with our
headphones on."
(or maybe with the headphones off...) i don't want to see kissing anywhere else in the stanza. and i don't want it to seem like the poet telling the reader the "moral of the poem". ya know? but this image is so unusual, and strong, and intriguing, and simple. like in the beginning. like the way love used to be. maybe play with some of the other ideas and lines in those last two stanzas and rearrange a bit. i think there is more to the ending than these 5 lines i love. but i think they are the ending.
thanks for being fabulous as always matt. i'm still waiting for that wine...
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