Saturday, January 15, 2005

because i wrote this in november, but it happened 7 years ago january

so i haven't gotten any feedback on this poem from anyone yet. i don't know that anyone else has even read it. anything you guys can give me would be appreciated. particularly the end. i sorta subconciously stole the last two lines from a poem i read this semester. and because of that, i keep wanting to change them, but don't know how. thoughts? questions? comments? concerns? donations?.... :)

It’s November. Been raining
all day long. But as I walk
to my car it turns to snow.
Big. Thick. Wet. Chunks
soak through leather coat,
knit hat, brown hair. Should
have brought my umbrella. Like
the last day I saw you.
Wheels skidding on ice
as I pushed you from parking
lot to inpatient. Your hand
suddenly like a child’s
slipping out of it’s protective
mitten, twisting with
wonder as if the air carried
radiation. Eyes reflecting
icicles dangling off
doorways. I paused then,
creeping up the sidewalk despite
bitter cold. Tried to memorize
your face, reborn, healed
by snow, so that later,
as I watched you die,
watched your breath become
ice, slowing, freezing, I
would remember you like
this. In wonder. As if
you knew. As if comforting me
in advance saying—“Now, now.
There, there.”


Blogger ShellBug526 said...

Read it, but it was hard cause it is so small. Very nice. Drunk poetry is the best!

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