Tuesday, December 07, 2004

DPS NZ chapter

All right, I finally have something for ya'll...Believe it or not, I have had a bit of trouble writing here, everything comes out too cliche, or forced, so I tried some stream of consciousness writing, this is what came out. It isn't written to anyone in particular, but if you want it to be to you, just imagine it is...

What Dreamers Dream...

I'm trying too hard.
I want to write
until my fingers fall off,
till my blood spills
out over the pages, red,
sticky, washing through endless words
and drying in the margins,
my soul saturating every syllable.
I want sex
on the mountain tops,
dreams at the bottom
of coffee cups, and sweet
frosting to lick of the edges
of my mouth. I could dive
into the invigoratin icy waters
of your mind, swim to the point that makes you scream,
makes you need me. Or
I could walk away...
take a stroll across mighty waters
to a place too far away to know,
too foreign to hold,
too safe for sleep. I'd love
to hold you up to the light,
shake you and put my ear to your chest
to see what's inside, crack open
my head and pour out my insecurities
as a blessing to God, wrap myself in a brilliant
robe of flowers until I wreak
with the stains of spring,
I want to scream prayer,
and taste the light that swirls
around my ankles, bundle up my wrists
and tie them to the edge
of the world. I should kiss
your eyes, and cheeks, and tender toes,
you should hold tight around my waist
and ride this sunset with me
until we find what delicious secrets
grace has hidden in the distance.
I want to pluck the tiniest stars
from your hair, put them in a little brown bag
and feed them to the fish that triwl beneath our feet.
I want confusion, I want ignorance,
I want to dance with my hand on your back.
I want certainty and survival
at three am, standing on a tree stump
about to burst. I want to lay here,
with you beside me, until we are right.

(5 Dec 04)

feedback more than welcome. I miss you guys...all my drunk poetic love from this side of the pond!

3 Comments:

Blogger mer said...

Will...thanks for your detailed and humorous email updates, I've loved hearing about life in New Zealand. As for the poem, wow. The images pack punches, and the metaphors are so clear and unique. Did you mean to spell it "waste"? I think I like it as such, but also wonder if it's "waist" as the other is negative and suggests holding on to past and baggage when the poem is moving forward freely.

Thanks again for sharing!

3:51 PM | Permalink  
Blogger Matt said...

Will,
You need to become president of the sexy poets society. This poem shows very naturally, desire and tension, and really, I think most people can feel some part of what you are talking about. If you were interested in revising, I would suggest repetition of some lines that you feel are the distilled essence of the poem. For me those were:

I want to scream prayer
I want sex
ride this sunset with me
I want to dance with my hand on your back
I could walk away

You have others too, but these ones could easily be repeated and then built a second or a third time with completely new ideas revolving around your theme. Beautiful poem.

2:14 PM | Permalink  
Blogger KTB said...

will. you're amazing. a fucking poet i tell ya, who would have guessed?

LOVE the beginning. just love it. i wish i could print this and write all over it and mail it to you, it'd be so much easier... the best way i revise poems is by cutting out the cliche and unneeded. if i were you, i'd cut "my soul saturating every syllable". i think the image is stronger without it. and something about "invigorating icy waters of your mind" isn't working for me. too much? too cliche? too something.

i thought i had way more to say, but as i look at it, i don't. there's a surreal quality to this that i love, it's fabulous. i miss you. i love you. come home soon.

12:25 AM | Permalink  

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